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GermaineCYS, '94

"If you get tired, learn to rest not quit."

it's either you disappoint the world, or the world disappoints you
Tuesday, September 29, 2015, 11:57 AM
10 days has passed.

i won't deny that i miss you.
i don't know whether it is you as a person, or the happy memories we shared, what we used to be.

then, i suddenly thought of a familiar phrase i used to write, we can't get ourselves trapped in those memories that can't be revived.

i'm not sure after what we had and lost, i can still continue believing in true love or being the hopeless romantic i thought i was.

but i know this time, i'll be patient.

some days i felt like i was a fool, to believe what we had was something more.
but if it was, it wouldn't have been so easily torn apart.

i guess there's no regrets for me this time because i tried to make things better, i tried to fight for it.

maybe epic things are just meant to happen to the both of us, just like in the beginning.
yet, it also contributed to our time bomb exploding earlier than it was set to be.

through this process i learned a few things and hopefully it will shape me into a stronger and more assertive individual.

i can't help but feel empty when i wake up in the morning. Indulge myself in my deep thoughts in the night. Because the first thing i see when i wake up, the last thing i see before i go to sleep are your texts. Maybe it is because of this daily routine i used to have, to love and be loved in return or basically  being with someone..
maybe it's time i break the habit.

if you hadn't been more straight forward in your words, it might of been harder for me.
but at the same time, i wished that the last things you said to me, would have been something i can keep close to my heart, something that'd make me feel like everything was worth while. But there wasn't any, just disappointment and the cold heart truth.

perhaps it is better this way.

but i know everything will get better in time, funny how these are the only times whereby we wish that time would speed up. Yet we used to wish that the clock would go slower back then.

indeed love made us strangers.
i felt that i lost a very good friend, someone that i could share my saddest and happiest moments with.
someone that i'd sacrifice my time for, to be nice to and care for.

as much as i know i'm the one that needs to take care of myself more.
nevertheless take care.


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