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Sunday, January 18, 2015, 10:40 AM
i hope i can still love, the way i loved you.No matter what i do, i feel like i'm still stuck here unable to progress moving on seems so out of reach. Doing things that are just a temporary way out, i still have to face the death proposal sooner or later. Smoking is something i can never picture myself doing, but that day i did it, That day hit me the hardest, what i found out had no longer left me hanging but it hurts way worse than the huge sudden bomb placed that day, i had no idea what would be a better way for me to recover.. having to go through lessons and work afterwards i felt like i could break down any moment. it was the bad way out, it was not something i enjoy doing at all. But it helped.. at times i stopped to wonder, am i still me anymore? then again, another issue, my screwed body clock is killing me inside out. I thought i was all better, but the moment i talked about it, emotions get the better of me. i was so weak, so weak to even think or talk about it anymore. i'm so annoyed of crying. I reflected, I feel so pathetic becoming this way, suffering and destructing my body. while the other party has happily get on with life. Then again i can't compare, i knew, while I was still as madly in love with him as I was the day we’d met, he was slowly pulling away.. 感情的事本来就很难说谁对谁错。 going on like this is not the solution. I have to be strong and face life as it comes. i believe, time will heal. One day i will be better for someone like how i was for you. |
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