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GermaineCYS, '94

"If you get tired, learn to rest not quit."

Anxiety that goes up to your throat// Acceptance
Wednesday, January 21, 2015, 8:46 AM
I used to be able to deal with a lot of pain, this feels like a whole new level to me. Didn't know that sometimes just sending a simple text can be so difficult and requires so much courage. i feel so heavy-hearted now that i can't describe this feeling. Living by this quote :) "Because we can't get ourselves trapped in those memories that can't be revived." that's how i tell myself to move on every single day. These 3 weeks has been hell with all the drinking, cigarettes and sleepless nights. An average of 3-4 hours of sleep a weekday, heading to school was such a chore, but i'm glad the long bus rides allow me to catch up on a bit. My eye bags are really bad and i can't even recognize myself anymore, i couldn't believe the kind of look & state i am in. I look like i've aged and not forgetting the hair cut i got recently that turned out bad after i went home and showered :( i just want to go back to my happy days, just being me like i used to. I'll be contented. Work hasn't been going well for me either, i am so lethargic all the time and always in a daze i can't do it well enough :( i suspect if i don't do something about it soon, something bad will happen haha. I'm even less attentive in class right now because of all the lack of sleep & energy. Can't wait for my life to go back on track!!! With another 3 UT 2 modules to go.. and then Chinese new year.. holidays. Really cannot wait for all that to come! i just need to persist a little more and i'm sure i'll make it! :) FTT count down in 5 days and so is my pay. Can't wait :D i'm sure life will turn out better soon It's time to let him go, the way that he smiled, The way his hands felt. That was who he was, not who he is anymore, i know.


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